Discovered some new things about elementary school education. Before I go on, I should issue the caveat that it's often hard to understand what's happening at school by asking your six year old. It's a lot like traveling in a foreign country where everyone is a compulsive liar who complains about eating broccoli. For example, back in Maine, Tessa and Lily often complain about being bullied. But their credibility is shot when I ask who the bully is and they identify the most milquetoast kid in the northeast. This kid couldn't bully his reflection. In fact, when I first saw him I mistook him for a crash test dummy. When I ask what the "bully" did, they usually say something like "after I grabbed the toy from him he went and told the teacher!" I usually say "Damn him! Damn him to hell!" unless Amy is listening, when I say "Well, Tess, that sounds more like a disagreement about property rights." Lily and Tessa went so far as to create a list of their bullies (which, ironically, is definitely grounds for bullying).
Back to Australia. Physical education apparently includes survival skills. I suppose I should expect that, given that we're in the deadliest place on earth aside from Antarctica. However, I was expecting guest lectures by Bear Grylls and field trips to the Outback. I wasn't expecting when Tessa came home and said "Do you know how much water is stored in your thigh?"
Lesson #1. Her gym teacher opened by commenting on how important it is to drink water. Not seeing a transition here - but she then went on to assert that a great deal of water is stored in your thigh. She had everyone look at their thighs. In fact, she went on, if you were trapped on a desert island, you could survive by eating a thigh. Of course, she added, you wouldn't want to eat your own thigh. Unless you had to.
Hmmm. I thought cannibalism was year 4.
I see two options here. 1) Tessa's gym teacher is an anxious woman who recently watched 127 Hours and doesn't know when to stop talking and 2) Tessa's gym teacher is a psychotic woman who recently watched Silence of the Lambs.
