Things that don't look like they should be able to kill you but are incredibly deadly

The title pretty much says it all. Australia is a deadly place. I've watched enough nature channel shows at friends' houses and Best Buy to know that Nature often gives you a heads-up when something is about to kick your ass. You know what I'm talking about ... the footage of the scorpion raising its stinger, the poisonous butterfly with the bright orange coloration, the grizzly bear acting in an agitated manner. In each case, Nature is saying, 'One day, a member of your species will understand that snarling and bared teeth and raised hackles is bad. That member will have an opportunity to pass along his or her genes. You are not that member."

You may wonder why I have to watch nature channel shows at Best Buy. I'll just get this out of the way now. You know that one guy in the US who doesn't have cable? That's me.

But back to deadly things. There's another side to this - the things that look harmless but, in fact, are incredibly lethal. This is Nature's way of saying "um, forgot about that one."

A perfect example is the magpie.



Looks harmless. I personally think 'cute' is going a bit far, but bird enthusiasts might comment on the beautiful coloration, the intelligent eyes, the melancholy, warbling cry (at 4:45 IN THE MORNING). They might generally bemoan the misunderstood magpie.

But those bird enthusiasts have never seen this.




This is a public service announcement attempting to educate the public on ways to protect themselves from the Australian equivalent of the pigeon. This sign was posted on a sidewalk that Amy and I have come to regard as the Adelaide equivalent of Cabrini Green, but let me be clear. These Magpie-Larks are everywhere. There is no safe place.

I think this would make a good Michael Bay movie. If you see him, tell him I said so. If you think there's not enough plot there, you've never seen a Michael Bay movie.


Here is another example.