Amy and I were in London for the 2004 Olympics. It was there, in our Frognal Lane flat, that we were treated to the eloquent but fatalistic coverage of their athletes. “Disappointing finish, there.” “Another disappointment.” “Yet another disappointing afternoon.” They tried to mix it up a bit, I think, with phrases like ‘fantastic disappointment’ but that was just confusing. After they lost America, I think it has pretty much been downhill for the Brits and, based upon the 2004 Olympics, they know it.
The Aussies have a different take. It is worth noting that they cover every event in which an Aussie is competing (even if such events are not coverage worthy). As a result, we have been privy to in depth (painfully, agonizingly deep) coverage of rowing; twos, skulls, fours, eights. The Aussies were there and so were we, every oarstroke. Men’s field hockey? We were there for their ‘legendary’ battle against the Canadians. And what can you say about the Canadian guys who make up a field hockey team? Overprotective mother? Had pneumonia as a child? Couldn’t get the hang of skating? Even Judo doesn’t play well on television.
But back to the Aussies’ take. They have an indefatigable optimism. Lost the event you were favored to win? Gallant. Hopelessly outmatched against a superior opponent? Plucky. Fast but clumsy? Rippah!
I’ve been thinking about this and I have a pretty good explanation for the Aussies’ optimism. This country was founded by convicts and prison guards. They were placed on great floating prisons called hulks, forced to sail three months across dangerous waters, sleeping in rope hammocks inches away from 59 other sweating, incontinent, sea-sick convicts. This is the definition of a low point. After that, it can only get better. Got bronze in the 200 butterfly? Well, at least you’re not rowing to a desert continent for stealing six pence of bread. So that’s something.
Aussie pride is also evident in their colorful name choices for their teams. The Olyroos (men's soccer). The Boomers (men's basketball). The Kookaburras (men's field hockey). The Hockeyroos (WOmen's FIELD hockey). The Opals (women's basketball). In America, it might be the Microsoft Buffalos or the McDonald's Tatankas, so it's probably best to keep it the way it is.
Finally, anyone wanting an official Olympic jersey just needs to send $3990.00 - you too can be the proud owner of a silver, signed jacket in a display case. It’s Australian dollars, so it isn’t as much as you think.
If you don’t have this offer in the states, I can get you one. Email me for shipping and handling charges.
