Sunday, March 20, 2016

Vegetarianism

Gaga left Australia with more than she anticipated.

She left with vegetarianism.

Now, I'm sure some of you think that's a result of Amy's newly copyrighted 24 hour indoctrination program (available for $24.99) that involved repeated viewings of PETA videos on You Tube, waterboarding, and repeated administration of gin and tonics.  And, frankly, that was probably part of it.

Last known photo of Gaga as a carnivore.

But it was mostly the sheep from Kangaroo Island.  (Note: I would have blogged this immediately after the visit from Gaga and Grandpa had I known the extent of its impact).

So here's the story.  On our way back from Kangaroo Island, we disembarked the ferry and settled on the bus back to Adelaide.  So far so good.  No vegetarian conversions.  Everyone pleased with their own culinary preferences.

Then, in a moment Gaga will apparently always remember, two large semi trucks drove off the ferry, each packed with hundreds of bleating sheep.

"Ooooh, those sheep are sooooo cute," Tessa said.

The adults nodded and murmured platitudes like "yes, they are" and "they sure do look delicious."

"Where are they going?" Tessa asked.

"Oy," our bus driver offered.  "They're headed to market,"

"But they're not the ones shopping," I added helpfully.  I've been working on my helpfulness.

Tessa looked quizzically at Gaga and then Amy.

What followed was an accurate if somewhat sanitized description of "going to market," as Amy glossed over words like "slaughter house" and "abbatoir" and "captive bolt stunning."

Reactions to Gaga's conversion have been mixed.  Grandpa Jim has adapted to vegetarianism through what I'll call gravitational acquiescence.  Sort of like when a ship passes the event horizon of a black hole; you know you're going in, so might as well get comfortable.

I would characterize her son Andy's reaction as "quietly supportive."  He used words like "are you f**$^ing kidding me?" and "it was Amy, wasn't it?!" and "we're at the top of the food chain and every once in a while, to demonstrate that, we need to kill something and eat it."

I see this philosophy as fitting right in with vegetarianism.  The last thing we need is broccoli thinking they're higher up on the food chain.

PS  Amy didn't like the last line.  She said it didn't "make sense" and "ruined the whole post" and "could drive away the six people who follow your blog."