If you've got a thing for knees, that's probably not something I want to hear about over breakfast.
So, what happened? Several possibilities.
1) I have developed an incurable and lethal form of the mange as a result of canine ancestry on my paternal side (when I heard my great grandfather was killed in a freak fetch accident, I thought he was the one throwing the stick). While searching for a cure, I'm avoiding a shadowy government organization hoping to use my unique genetic sequence to create superdog soldiers.
2) I encountered the Nair Jellyfish while snorkeling in Cairns.
3) I went swimming in a public pool.
Even though #3 seems the most far fetched, it was true. Ah, the beauty of public pools. Being splashed by other peoples' kids. Swimming through random warm patches of water.
After thirty minutes of horsing around with my kids, I noticed a slight burning sensation in my knees. As a forty five year old, I'm trying to get used to burning sensations in various joints, which my doctor calls arthritis and I've been trying to call "afterburn" because it suggests that I did something more kinetic than walk up the stairs. But this BS felt different. It was only when I left the pool, that I realized my knee was disfigured.
(As an aside, I think Burning Sensations could be a cool band name. You know, a geriatric superband featuring Stephen Tyler, Slash, and Phil Collins sponsored by Fixodent and Biofreeze).
Australians are apparently generous with dispersal of chlorine and, in a pinch, will make do with hydrochloric acid. They have also invented a pool bottom surface that can give you that whole body shave.
The real loss here is the lucrative knee modeling contracts that I was hoping to pursue. Even through the disfigurement, you can see that I had the bone structure to compete with the likes of David Gandy. Obviously, I will also no longer be competitive for Tyra Banks' new show "America's Top Knees."
EDIT: Pat W astutely noted that Burning Sensations has already been used as a name for a rock band in the 80s. What does it tell you that I didn't know that? I just WASTED my teen years! Still, I think my idea has merit. Can't you just imagine the tension ... er chemistry between Slash and Collins on stage?
