Twilight Zone

The girls are off to school, or freedom for parents as we call it.  There was considerable anxiety prior to the first day, mostly focused on the idea that they would be unable to understand their teachers who might use words or phrases such as "g'day," "listen the first time" or "please pick up after yourself."  Upon seeing her classroom for the first time, Tessa was consumed by anxiety (see below).

Every day we walk the kids to school through a beautiful park.  My Apple health app tells me it's 2/3 of a mile each way and then points out that glaciers tend to move faster and burn more calories.  Nonetheless, the walk is beautiful.

But it's not without danger.  On the first day, the girls received a send off from our friendly neighborhood avian psychopath, Mr. Feathers.  As you may recall from an earlier post, magpies are simultaneously hailed as accomplished songbirds and as sadistic assassins.  The magpie can lull you into a false sense of joie de vivre with a bizarre Matrix like lyrical display before dive bombing your sedated ass.  Australians are encouraged to wear bike helmets and carry umbrellas to wave wildly around their heads in the event of a magpie "swooping."  

Magpies hail from the butcherbird genus Craticus which, for those of you who failed biology, represent the muscle of the avian mafia.  In this picture, the "songbird" is preparing to extort a fee for our passage.

Don't believe me?  I get it.  You're thinking "Luke, you're making a big deal out of a small bird.  If that were a goanna or a gator or (even cooler) a raptor, it'd be something to blog about.  But a freaking bird?  In America, we just slather on the barbecue sauce and eat them during college football games."  Good point.  But then, we slather barbecue sauce on a lot of things and none of them have warning signs.

Keep shaking your head skeptically.  I have a growing suspicion that I'm witnessing a coup.  We'll see who's laughing when I start referencing Our Beneficent Avian Masters.  It'll probably still not be me.

Back to the first day of school.  It was pretty good.  I took a nap.

The girls have all the basics - art, music, PE, recess.  They also have a Chinese class, though their description of the content suggests it's just another hour for kids to scribble an abstract design and call it a kangaroo.

But I'm simply not sure what to say about the weirdest moment.  This isn't photoshopped.  It's just the universe saying "stay on your toes.  I'm watching you."