Survival skills

Discovered some new things about elementary school education.  Before I go on, I should issue the caveat that it's often hard to understand what's happening at school by asking your six year old.  It's a lot like traveling in a foreign country where everyone is a compulsive liar who complains about eating broccoli.  For example, back in Maine, Tessa and Lily often complain about being bullied.  But their credibility is shot when I ask who the bully is and they identify the most milquetoast kid in the northeast.  This kid couldn't bully his reflection.  In fact, when I first saw him I mistook him for a crash test dummy.  When I ask what the "bully" did, they usually say something like "after I grabbed the toy from him he went and told the teacher!"  I usually say "Damn him!  Damn him to hell!" unless Amy is listening, when I say "Well, Tess, that sounds more like a disagreement about property rights."  Lily and Tessa went so far as to create a list of their bullies (which, ironically, is definitely grounds for bullying).

Back to Australia.  Physical education apparently includes survival skills.  I suppose I should expect that, given that we're in the deadliest place on earth aside from Antarctica.  However, I was expecting guest lectures by Bear Grylls and field trips to the Outback.  I wasn't expecting when Tessa came home and said "Do you know how much water is stored in your thigh?"

Lesson #1.  Her gym teacher opened by commenting on how important it is to drink water.  Not seeing a transition here - but she then went on to assert that a great deal of water is stored in your thigh.  She had everyone look at their thighs.  In fact, she went on, if you were trapped on a desert island, you could survive by eating a thigh.  Of course, she added, you wouldn't want to eat your own thigh.  Unless you had to.

Hmmm.  I thought cannibalism was year 4.

I see two options here.  1) Tessa's gym teacher is an anxious woman who recently watched 127 Hours and doesn't know when to stop talking and 2) Tessa's gym teacher is a psychotic woman who recently watched Silence of the Lambs.