The Rainforest

On Day 2, we took a bus trip to a train trip to a small village in a rainforest where we rode an Army Duck in a circle so we could take the Skyrail back to the bus.

Tessa was psyched!

A whole host of new modes of transport to experience and scream about in public.  When you see her next, don't freak out when she screams "Skyrail" at random intervals.  It is very unlikely that a wayward gondola is dropping out of the sky.  But (because you never know), I'd still dive to the left.


This shot was taken on the bus to the rain forest.  I looked outside and noticed ... something.

You're thinking, "I can't really make that out."  That is (apparently) the WHOLE POINT.

This genius, Call of Duty superplayer, and future candidate for the Darwin Awards painted his car in black and gray CAMO.  Because the last thing you want on a rainy day is for other drivers to see your car clearly and easily.

I'm guessing he was pretty pissed when he saw his premiums went way up.

While at Kuranda, we had a chance to see the rainforest with the Army Ducks.  Now, I was a bit nervous on this part of the trip.  From my experience, ducks can be capricious and unpredictable and it seemed the height of irresponsibility to give them semi-automatic weapons.  But I figured the rainforest was more dangerous than I realized.  

I was just as surprised as you probably are to find that the Army Ducks are not a group of heavily armed mallards.  The DUKW are six-wheel-drive amphibious assault vehicles.

Something no military wants to see.  Ever.

This is what the military want.  Steely eyed determination in the face of distraction.

We attended a demonstration of aboriginal dancing and the performers made the ill advised decision to go for audience participation.

Once again, Tessa's hand shot up with the speed of a frog's tongue.  The woman's expression tells you what it's like to sit next to Tessa when she's told to stay in one place.







We were then invited to spend some time with the friendly neighborhood croc, also known as Jack the Rippah.  Jack was a 17 foot 1600 pound crocodile.  He was also a confirmed bachelor.  And by confirmed bachelor, I mean that he ate every female croc the zoo placed in his pen.  Twelve female crocs.  As far as I can tell, this is the definition of screwing yourself over.  Zookeepers' fervent hopes to breed supercrocs proved unsustainable.

Watching Jack watch me, it occurred to me that this is exactly the time when you want some heavily armed mallards.

I have the say that the sign was both helpful and not so helpful.  After seeing the sign, I realized that Jack was just waiting for some stupid American psychologist to lean over the railing and get a good look at the size of those chompers.

Unfortunately after seeing the sign, part of me wanted to do it.






Drew doing his best King Kong vs Mothra imitation.

This is also how he looked a few hours later, when he ran up and told me that "a big snake" slithered across the path in front of him.

It's also the look he had when Tessa asked to sit next to him on the bus.

I'm taking suggestions for captions on this.  Post in the comments.  Winners get lifetime access to my blog.

My entry:  "This hot dog tastes funny."

or

"You know, I do have colleagues who glance at your blog."

View from the Skyrail.  We were told that there was a stunning rainforest below.  Drew squinted out into the fog and said "Really think there's a rainforest down there?  I mean, I don't see one.  What do you think would happen if I opened this door ..." 

After listening to me complain about the unremitting pain in my feet, Drew suggested that we review my footwear.  He looked closely at my sandals and observed that it would probably be less painful to staple tire treads to my feet.

I left my sandals in Cairns.

It turns out that there is a worldwide shortage of Berkinstocks.