Impressed? The lizard didn't even move.
Thinking that Neil had badly underestimated my stealth capabilities AND that the goanna had badly underestimated my threat level, I went for a closer shot. When the lizard remained immobile, I realized with a bit of disappointment that our host must have sedated the poor bastard.
By the fourth shot, I realized that the sedated lizard was permanently sedated. As in, plastic.
We all had a good laugh. Yep. I was really laughing.
In any event, I was ready for his second joke which I found in the back yard - a poorly made rubber snake half hidden under a rock. I motioned him over and pointed out the toy with an eye roll that said, been there, done that.
Neil screamed like a eunuch. "Run you stupid wankah. It's a brown snake."
After cleaning up, we all had tea.
4 comments:
When do you go on that "walkabout" thingy . . .?
OMG, that's awesome! What an adventure. Thankfully the Brits sent only the REALLY naughty prisoners there to settle things so you are likely in great hands.
OMG. That's so funny. I once called an Aussie when I was staying in Okinawa for the first time on a 6-week assignment. I was paranoid about Okinawan snakes. I was opening a window in my air force base house and a mysterious slithery object emerged from between the panes. It must be a habu (super duper poisonous Okinawan snake). I called Ian in a panic. He came over armed with a stick. He looked with caution, "What IS that?" He poked it with his stick. A piece of foam rubber leaped out.
He made me feel better by telling me the story of a tennis game one day, where he went running in a field after a ball. He stepped and a habu lunged at him and stuck on his leg. He screamed in horror - "It got me! I'm a dead man!" Then he noticed it wasn't moving. Rigor mortis.
Seems to be a theme here with Aussies.
Please let me final words be, "it got me! I'm a dead (wo)man!"
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