Sunday, April 17, 2016

Signage Part 2




This was posted right by a picnic area that was deserted.

I think calling a brown snake "shy" sort of misses the point.


Naked lights?  I've been missing out.




Um, no.  This does not work.























Neither does this.

Where did you get Hepatitis C?

Captain Snag and the Weinerbago food truck?



When I suggested that Tessa stand by this sign, she managed to look simultaneously offended and embarrassed by me.  I'm pretty sure that defines the teenage set.  Regardless, she couldn't argue with the logic.  Frozen kids probably don't smell like much of anything.






What can you say about this?

Stairs!  Woot!

Ride the lightening!

















This gave me a chill.  What is up with that threat about being in paradise with these over medicated people I've never met?

And a free public event involving paradise and eternal happiness?  That is just going to piss off Ticketmaster.  I wouldn't be surprised if they barred supreme beings from using their stadiums.  If Pearl Jam couldn't beat them in the 90s ...















Hmmmm.  A lot of smiling going on here.

The influencers sounds like a better name for a rock band or a B horror movie, though perhaps services here strive to combine both elements.


Like so much in Australia, this sign seemed friendly from far away.  It's only when you get closer that you realize you've been threatened the whole time.

And now for the lavatory section of the blog.
  



A testament to the possibility that people are not smart and/or are overly hopeful.  Yet, in a universe as uncertain as ours, how can we really be sure that removing the sign won't make it work?  And isn't "work" a relative term?  If someone ignores the sign and uses the toilet, isn't it fair to say that the toilet "worked" for them?



The Crouchers Strike Back.

I can hear them now.  "Oy.  Don't like me crouching over the toilet, eh?  I'll skip it altogether.  Never trusted it anyway."

In all fairness, I think we should consider the possibility that the "incident" that must have precipitated the sign's creation may not have been an expression of scatalogical defiance.  As a father of twins, I'm something of an expert in how to put down a scatalogical rebellion.  It requires a ruthless hand and absolutely no sense of smell.  I won't subject you to the details, but lets just say it involved a loose diaper, a cream colored carpet, and an hour of "drying time."

So perhaps the culprit wasn't intending it as a statement.  Perhaps the "inevitable" occurred prematurely, sometime between dropping trow and planting cheek.  You'd probably have to get a forensic expert in there to examine the scattershot pattern and it wouldn't be pretty, but it could exonerate the crouchers.

After reading the sign, your immediate impulse is to look down.  Not a good impulse.  Better just not to know.  You get through moments like this by focusing on the possibility that the figure was doing yoga.



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